Summary: In Laguna Beach, California, sixteen-year-old Kendra Dimes is preparing for the 2010 USA Surfing Prime West. She’ll be competing this year in honor of her brother, who was a surfer too, but who died from a drug overdose. Kendra has suffered anxiety attacks ever since her brother’s death, and surfing is what’s been helping her heal. Brock Parker is the new bad boy at school; he deals drugs to the high school clientele for his parents, who work for a Mexican drug lord. Though Brock and Kendra come from two different worlds, sparks fly when they meet at the homecoming dance—their attraction is magnetic. When they start a game of 21 Questions one night, they begin to learn more about each other—and, surprisingly, about themselves too. But some questions aren’t answered with the whole truth; after all, Brock can’t tell Kendra what his parents do for a living. As Kendra and Brock experience all of life’s most exciting firsts, they prove that even when life throws you the perfect storm, you can make it through and come out stronger than before. 21 Questions is a coming-of-age journey packed with passion and heartbreak, risk and romance.
EXCERPT
Kendra
I always knew I wasn’t meant to be a human. I thought of myself more as a mermaid—maybe even closer to a dolphin. But definitely not human. At least that’s how I felt every time my toes touched the water.
Its salty flavor filled my throat as it collapsed over me. It is what it is, I repeated to myself as the overwhelming wave fumbled me around, somersaulting me to shore. It was the mantra I chose when angst tried to creep its way into my mind.
I started to panic as I lay on the sand, trying to catch my breath, eyes shut.
Thoughts of doubt cluttered my brain, but I pushed them away, focusing on inhaling and exhaling, reminding myself, I can breathe. The anxiety wasn’t always bad, only sometimes. Never while I was in the water—mostly when the waves plummeted me to shore, forcing me to face reality again.
A shadow cast itself over me. I opened my eyes to find Coach Harkins standing above me, his wet, blond locks dripping onto my face.
“Come on, Ken! You need more explosive maneuvers.”
I sat up and nodded my head. He was right; he was always right. I paused before grabbing my surfboard and heading into the water. The ocean felt like home. If only I had gills, I’d probably never touch the earth’s land again.
I paddled out past a few small waves, then sat on my board waiting for a larger wave to form as Coach Harkins stood on the sand. I took in the sun’s rays beating down on my skin.
“This one, Ken! Come on,” he yelled to me.
I eyed the wave coming toward me, unsure if we were friends, but I knew I could easily introduce myself. The water was the one place I didn’t question myself; there was no time for awkward silences or prying thoughts of uncertainty. I knew how to flow with its currents and tides.
I paddled a ways before hoisting myself onto my board. My adrenaline surged as I attempted to nail a backside air reverse in the water. I could hear Coach Harkins screaming when I landed the move perfectly, my board gliding against the wave and then launching into the air, landing a perfect 360 back down onto the water, surfing the wave to shore.
I walked up the beach where he was waiting for me.
“Rough start, but good work today,” he said.
I was preparing for the quarterfinals in the USA Surfing Prime West. We always ended practice with a five-minute meditation. Coach taught yoga part time—something he had discovered after a terrible car accident. He’d been drunk driving and was told he’d never be able to walk again, let alone surf. But he’d proved the doctors wrong.
What I admired most about him was his honesty regarding his struggle to become sober. Although it sometimes felt repetitive listening to his frequent lectures on staying away from “that crowd,” I appreciated his sincere concern. But believe me, I knew firsthand all about “that crowd”—they’d been a permanent fixture in my house during most of my childhood, along with the substances they brought and the death of my brother that followed. The thing was, they weren’t bad people.
No. They were lost people—at least that’s how my dad always explained it.
Coach was the one who introduced me to meditation, and it changed my entire mindset. My dad had tried family counseling and shrinks—one who diagnosed me with a type of anxiety called panic disorder. They even put me on a small dose of medicine for a while when I was twelve, but it didn’t work. The side effects were too overwhelming—nausea, joint pains to the point where I couldn’t even surf. But the worst were the night terrors. Thankfully, I met Coach, and he sparked my interest in utilizing the Eastern approach to managing anxiety. Not just in surfing, but in most aspects of life, from school to just overall facing daily fears. I used to have panic attacks quite often, but learning how to control my breath really changed things for me. I didn’t think it would ever be truly cured, but at least it could be managed.
Coach and I sat across from one another on the sand in a shaded area. My eyes fell upon his throat where a trach scar from his accident remained. Coach seemed like a completely different person than he was before, from the stories he’d told me. It’s weird to think though that scars are always there to remind you of who you once were.
“All right, close your eyes,” he said.
I closed my eyes, focusing in on my third-eye chakra, trying to clear my mind of worrying about school and everything I had to do. It took me out of my head and into the moment.
“I want you to take a deep inhale through your nose for five seconds,” he guided me. I inhaled. “Now hold that breath for five seconds . . . three, two, one, and exhale for five.”
I let out a heavy breath through my nose. I could feel it in the back of my throat as we repeated the exercise. It felt good. I began to feel lighter, my body naturally and unconsciously swaying back and forth as if I was going to float away.
Alexandria Rizik is a published writer, award-winning filmmaker and mental health advocate born and raised in Scottsdale, Arizona - where she was brought up by a large Armenian family. Alexandria received a degree in English from her local University - ASU. Her published works include short stories, a children's book, and most recently, her book of poetry, “Words Written in the Dark.” She also received the “Best Female Director” award at London Independent Film Awards for her film, “Contentment” in 2017, which is available on Amazon Prime. Besides writing, Alexandria also enjoys yoga, family time and good wine. Along with her many entrepreneurial endeavors, she’s also launched “Poetry in a Bottle”, which is a deliciously provocative blend of Grenache, Merlot, Syrah and Cabernet.
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